Long time no.... Blog?

So WaMu is no longer... Where does this leave Little Shivey? Between the hours of 8:45am - 6:15pm I'm lost. Where am I? What does this mean for me? The past 2 and a half years I've lived for WaMu. I've worked hard to learn policies, remember customers, build rapport, make new friends/business contacts, etc. I've tried so hard to be the best "WaMulian". And last Thursday night I learned that all we gave to this company wasn't good enough. I hadn't been good enough... or at least that's how I felt.

The company was sold to JP Morgan Chase Bank. And now comes the thoughts:
-"How long will I have my job?"
-"Where should I look for a job?"
-"What will happen to all of my fellow WaMulians?"

Hey.... if you have an open position.... let me know.

Feeling Lost

The love of my life lives an hour and 45 minutes away. We've been doing all we can to cope with that fact. He leaves from work every Friday afternoon and drives to St George, gets there about 20-30 minutes after I get home from work. And then we enjoy Saturday and Sunday - 2 amazing full days together. And I drive down to vegas when I have a day off during the week.

This has been our routine, our life...

I feel like the last 3 months of travelling back and forth, only seeing my lovey for 2 maybe 3 days a week... it's caught up to me. I constantly miss him. It's ridiculous! It's like... how did I get through my days without him before? I'm just going to put an effort into having a great time with my friends and family, and just enjoy our time together.

Love you all.

~Morning Routine Epiphanies~

My time in the morning- in the shower, blow drying my hair, etc... that's my time to think over things in my life. This morning I had so many thoughts running through my head...

Last night Michael and I were talking future talk... He's looking into being a police officer. And with his military background, there's no trouble getting into that field. We were looking at certain cities Police Departments... checking the salary, benefits, etc. We even looked at apartments in the areas to see price ranges...

There was one thought or feeling that stuck with me since we started looking online last night, was going through my thoughts this morning, and still with me now- I just hope this isn't the whole "yeah we should do this!" and it never happens. Don't get me wrong... I'm not saying that Michael doesn't follow through- I just want the next part of our lives -the part that we start together- to be now. I'm sick of the waiting... the wanting...

I want my life with Michael to start.

Twisted Principles...

Ever since I was a child my parents taught me certain principles... certain beliefs...

It's so hard now as an adult realising that the principles/beliefs you were taught as a child were somewhat skewed... Bare with me, my thoughts are so jumbled I'm trying so hard to piece things out. Maybe skewed is the wrong word. The way I was raised was great, it has made me who I am. And who I am now has an amazing and loving boyfriend, great friends, ...great life. But with the way I was raised, I feel that if I were to ever go against those principles/beliefs... that I would be an automatic disappointment. A let down. Because with the principles/beliefs I was raised to believe... that's the only way, it's the right way.

Hmm... I'm just so torn.

Nothing a little alcohol can't take care of....

I just thought that title would be hilarious...



Today is full of emotions, but mainly I'm just tired. And if you know me, you'd understand that if I'm tired... all the other emotions come out in full effect.



So yeah... Maybe I should get some sleep?